Parents want the best for their children. Sometimes, however, parents have different ideas about what is “best” for their children. When it comes to (expensive) private schools, “the best” can also be a financial issue. Especially after a separation, one parent sometimes wants private school for the child more than the other. It is often about who actually has to bear the additional costs for a private school. From a legal point of view, the main issue is child maintenance.
Who pays child support/alimony?
Child maintenance or alimony is paid by the parent who does not live in the same household as the children . The amount depends on the age and needs of the children and also on how much the person paying the maintenance earns. If you earn a lot, you also pay a lot, although there is a luxury limit for child maintenance. The person paying maintenance must also make an effort (professionally). In other words, it is not possible for someone who earned a lot before the separation to suddenly stop working in order to avoid having to pay child maintenance. For example, someone who worked as a doctor cannot suddenly follow their “dream” after the separation at the expense of the children and work a few hours a week in a restaurant.
Normally, it is not relevant what the parent who mainly looks after the children earns. This person makes their contribution by actually looking after the children. For example, if the children live with their father and spend every other weekend with their mother, the mother must pay child maintenance to the father. Depending on the age of the child, this amounts to 16-22% of the monthly net income. However, if in our example the mother looks after the children “more than average”, i.e. more than around 80 days per year, the amount of child maintenance to be paid can be reduced.
Who normally pays for afternoon care or after-school care?
In principle, the parent who lives with the children must pay the costs of care outside the home, e.g. after-school care in the afternoon. The argument is that the after-school care mainly serves the main caring parent, who must therefore also pay the costs. Childcare or after-school care costs therefore do not normally have to be paid by the parent who is liable to pay maintenance in addition to the “normal” child maintenance. If the children live with the mother and the father pays child maintenance, the mother must pay the costs of afternoon care (after-school care) for the children.
Who pays for the private school/private kindergarten?
It depends on why the child attends private school. If there are special reasons that make attending an expensive private school necessary, this may exceptionally lead to an additional payment obligation (school fees) for the person paying child maintenance. This could be the case, for example, if a public school is not an equivalent alternative in the specific case (e.g. language reasons of the child after a long stay abroad, special talent, special professional interest of the child, which can be promoted precisely by this school).
In short: there must be a justified reason that speaks in favor of this particular educational path (private school). Furthermore, the person who is obliged to pay for the school in addition to the “normal” child maintenance (so-called standard maintenance) must not be overburdened (financially). It must be economically reasonable. This will regularly be the case if this effort would also have been made in an intact family.
It may also be relevant who chose the school or which parent wanted the child to attend a private school. However, the fact that the parents originally agreed to the school while they were living together does not automatically mean that they are obliged to pay the school fees. If there are comparable public schools, you will generally have to choose a public school and cannot demand additional costs on top of the “normal” child maintenance.
For many parents, the decision as to which school/kindergarten to choose can become a challenge and another point of contention. A possible (consensual) solution could be that if the parents both want a fee-paying school, they share the costs equally.
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