Issues relating to contact rights can be very conflictual. The right of contact, i.e. the right of the non-main caring parent to have contact with the child, is also a right of the child. There is no “normal” or statutory (minimum) right of contact. The best interest of the child is always what counts. Contact right should be granted to an extent that allows the development of a genuine close relationship between child and parent. No parent should be forced into the role of an occasional visitor. The question of the possibility of telephone contact with the child arises time and again.
Basic information on the frequency of contacts
First of all: Decisions on contact rights always depend on the individual case. In general, the age of the child is relevant in this context. In addition, the current practice. Also, more frequent but shorter contact is recommended for young children because young children are not yet able to remember for a long time and long periods of separation from the main caring parent, often the mother, can be difficult for the child. The older the children are, the more their wishes should be taken into account. In general, the right of contact should cover both leisure time and everyday life. It will also make a difference whether both parents have taken intensive care of the child or whether one person has taken over childcare alone while the other has been busy at work. Even if the right of contact is not only a right of the child, but also a right of the parents, the interests of the child take precedence. The welfare of the child is what counts when it comes to contact arrangements.
In the best-case scenario, parents agree among themselves on how contact should be organized. One circumstance that does not exactly favor agreements is the basic rule that the more contact rights, the less child maintenance has to be paid. If the parent who does not mainly look after the children has above-average contact rights, the amount of child maintenance to be paid is also reduced.
What else is there to say?
The right to contact between parents and child is a fundamental human right. Restrictions on the right of contact must therefore be the exception. Nevertheless, if necessary, the court can or even must restrict or even prohibit personal contact with the child. This is particularly the case if contact poses a risk to the child’s mental or physical health. Different parenting approaches per se do not in themselves constitute grounds for restricting contact. The courts tend to assume that children can benefit from a plurality of opinions. Children are also exposed to different rules and requirements in kindergarten and school, for example. Similarly, tensions between parents are not in themselves a reason for suspending contact.
Telephone contacts and letters?
The right of contact means both personal contact and other forms of contact such as email, telephone, video calls or letters. A court order for (video) telephone contact may be required, especially if the child is a certain age and if personal contact is not possible (or only possible to a limited extent) due to the distance. It may be possible to maintain contact by telephone if the child is far away from one of the parents.
Case law is generally rather reluctant to order telephone contact. This is also due to the fact that, particularly in already problematic family constellations, the courts want to avoid putting the child in a difficult situation if he or she is supposed to make phone calls in the home of the parent who refuses such telephone contact. As always, courts are guided by the best interests of the child and the extent to which telephone calls are beneficial for the child in such a situation must be assessed on a case-by-case basis. It will also depend on the family’s other (contact) right situation.
If there is already very frequent in person contact between the parent who does not live with the child, the need for (additional) telephone contact will not be as urgent as if the parent and child live in another country and rarely see each other. In general, the same applies to telephone contact as to face-to-face contact: it must be granted if it is not contrary to the best interests of the child. Per se, case law follows the approach that personal contact between parents and children should be given priority and that certain reasons are needed to make telephone contact appear reasonable. Personal contact is also preferable for young children in particular. In the case of very young children, it is not possible to maintain a parent-child relationship over the telephone simply because of a lack of language skills.
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